Catching up with my ‘Journey of Life’ series after a long gap, I am happy to introduce you to CR. She and I met at our local church. She is a new mom and actively involved in church. Here is her story of growing together with God.
It is hard for me to remember how I was thinking and what my dreams were.
When I was 16 I was very shy and scared to pursue things on my own. Many of my achievements at the time were through my parents, always asking their permission never daring to do anything they would disapprove of. This included my faith in God as well. I wanted the typical things- to get married, to live in a house, have children, and be a stay home mom.
Between the ages of 17 to 19 I went to Cegep to study Special Care Counseling because I decided I wanted to work with children with Special needs. In Cegep I found the people around me much more independent and exercising much more freedom than I was. I think one of the reasons I continued to be so sheltered was because since I was shy, it made me more comfortable hiding under my parent’s wings. During that time, my brother rebelled against my parents. I remember feeling a little bit like a nerd in the eyes of my younger siblings and how they almost seemed to admire my brother more than me.
When I started University, I finally had my first boyfriend. I was so proud to have one finally and decided that I too wouldn’t be so nerdy and have more fun. Well, this was probably the worst year of my life! Because of my low self-esteem, I let him hurt me and tolerated things I should have never tolerated if I had any more respect for myself. Although it was a year of mistakes and pain God used it for good. He showed me that He would never leave me even if I disobeyed him and he also showed me that there is tremendous blessing when we obey him.
I don’t really know why, but after that trial I became much more confident in myself and started to make many friends. I also made a personal decision to follow Christ rather than living through my parents. I became much more content in what God has given me and chose to wait to see what He will bless me with when He chooses to.
God still had more to teach me. During my early 20’s I was now chasing after boys. I often organized events or outings in hopes to get a boyfriend. Oddly enough, the boys that ended up liking me were always those that I was not interested in.
The night I met my husband, was a night that I was not looking. I was surrounded by my girlfriends and only focused on them. We were at a New Years party and he noticed me when I first entered the house. He tells me that he did so many things to get my attention but I was too enthralled with the friends I was already with. It was only a few hours after midnight that I finally noticed him and had my first chat with him and God did the rest. I like thinking back at this story because it shows me that I don’t need to obsess about my plans, God has the perfect plan and when He chooses the time is right things happen.
I did get married to my soul mate and cannot imagine being with anyone else. I became a mother and we do have the financial means for me to be a stay home mom. Wow, God has blessed me so much and I don’t really understand why He gave me such wonderful things.
Before I became a mother, I had a miscarriage. This also taught me a valuable life lesson. Life does not always go exactly the way we planned, it’s really God who chooses what we have and we must realize that whatever achievements and things we hold dear are not from our own efforts but are because God permitted us to have them. I understand this now when I hold my son and see him as a gift that God gave me.
God still has a lot to teach me. He has used the all circumstances in my life, the good and the bad, as life lessons. I am so glad that He holds my life in His hands.
Thanks CR for sharing your story with us.