Last month, I invited some of my friends to share the journeys of their life as I asked them to think about these questions 1. What was on your must-have/ must-achieve list when you were 15-16-17? 2. What is your life like now? 3. What are the most important lessons you have learnt so far?. I would be publishing their stories in a series I have titled “the journey of life (JoL)” which is also the tag line of this blog.
I met Meenu when I was studying architecture and she was a year senior to me. I remember her as a fun-loving, straight talking and a very popular person. She grew up in India and now lives in the US with her husband and daughter. Here she talks about how her plans for life changed over the years.
“Don’t you worry, don’t you worry child
See heaven’s got a plan for you” – Swedish House Mafia
I was a bright, top of the list student till X Std (grade 10). After my Xth CBSE results my parents sent me to Birla Balika Vidyapeeth, Pilani, Rajasthan. They had a plan in mind. They wanted me to do my grade 11 and 12 and then get admission in BITS, Pilani (a reputed engineering college), Study engineering, come back to Delhi and get married by 2000. It seemed simple and doable. Little did they knew that I would be back in less then 10 days…After coming back to Delhi I was a lost soul and it reflected in all aspects of my life. I took admission in a new school, new environment and that made me loose my focus a bit more as I don’t accept changes easily.
Summer of 1996, I was still clueless about my life, goals, ambitions when I was sitting on a bench with a good friend, holding my grade 12 result sheet. The school was filled with ambitious students hoping to-be doctors, engineers, lawyers and what not. And there I was sitting and thanking God that I cleared chemistry despite of attempting questions worth not more then 30 marks (the passing marks used to be 33 I guess…lucky me :D).
As soon as I reached home, my brother took me for a drive and showed me “my could-be-future”. We parked our car outside an all girls college and my brother just said “This could be your life, if you choose it to be. Come to college, study till the time mom-dad look for a suitable marwari business man and say bye-bye.” That was the first time I think I said “WTF” loud and clear… So thanks to my brother for rocking my boat.
I did realize I needed a plan, more than that an ambition & a goal. I revisited an extinguished flame of being an architect. In a matter of 7 days I enrolled myself in a guiding class, started brushing my sketching skills and did everything that was required to get in to an architecture college.
TVBSHS (our architectural college) happened and 5 years of learning with endless fun introduced me to a new-me. The ‘New-me’ was super ambitious, with no time for love (I had settled with the idea of arranged marriage somehow). All I wanted was to finish my bachelors, work for couple of years, open my own firm, go for masters to New Zealand or Australia, have some more fun, work some more, earn big bucks, articles in magazines, travel the world and so on. No time or inclination to find Mr Right or marriage or commitment. All I wanted to do was have fun and work.
I was not so sure about my “what I want” list BUT I was very adamant about my “do not want” list. I did not want a love marriage. I did not want to get married to a guy who lives in USA (somehow hated the country for unknown reasons), smokes, is a non-vegetarian, is a libran and listens to Jazzy B. Life is ironic. I fell in love with someone who does/did all that and some more…
The REAL plan started unfolding when I met NALIN- my better 7/8th as I call him. Sitting miles apart in a different countries, we fell in love in the midst of me meeting prospective marriageable guys suggested by my parents and running from one project site to another, from the workshop to office. Almost after 2 years he proposed, I felt I had the courage to stand up for this one guy I so wanted in my life. Suddenly everything around me was red and heart shaped. My life was a packet full of “cheesy” strings. To cut a long story short – soon after my epiphany, I wrapped up my successful professional developing career, packed my bags and took a flight to a new country, to start a life with the man I love so much. The best decision I ever took. A beautiful life followed and it still continues. Now we have a lovely daughter Zoe in our life.
Once a career oriented, super ambitious and stuck up girl is now a stay home mom by choice. Its challenging and I am loving each bit of it. Life is mechanical many a times but WE as a family try and break the monotony over the weekends, making most of each other’s time. Life is nothing but love, fun, respect and much more served on a golden platter. When the time is right I do “plan” to think about the big question “whats next???”… Till then I just want to be a wife and a mom.
Last 15+ years taught me importance of acceptance. Changes are bound to happen. I can not change “the change” always so might as well adapt to it. Also I learned that life should be given a chance. You can plan it but I feel it is already planned for you and if you are not receptive enough to the cues, it just might pass you by and many years later you might sit and ponder “woh hota to kya hota, waisa hota to kaisa hota??”(what could have happened if that would have happened- it looses some impact in translation).
Hers is such a positive and heartfelt story. When I read it for the first time I was humbled she shared it with me and on this platform. Thanks Meenu!