They say you can never learn to swim by standing ashore. Even though I have been in the water, I never ventured deep enough to really swim. The only one time I was in deep waters, I was clutching on to my life-vest and my husband who was swimming besides me. Even as a young girl I quit cycling when the time came to remove the training wheels. Something deep inside me is afraid of getting hurt. I came across the term ‘catastrophic Imagination’ on the blogosphere somewhere. It eludes to imagining the worst possible outcome of any given situation.
I cannot tell you how many things I backed out from once I realized there was one small chance of failure. Some failed attempts s where I did try something new and go out of my comfort zone continue to discourage me more than the encouragement some successes could provide. As such I have been most happy in my own shell, although the desire to go beyond keeps popping its head. I loved doodling and creating since childhood and thought well of myself. When I studying architecture, I was blessed to be in the company of very talented bunch of students and professors, yet instead of learning from them I increasingly shrunk into my own shell. I saw their work, immense talent that they had and felt very very small. I felt I was no good. I wish I had not done that.
You can imagine , how much emotional energy I would have wasted before I started this blog. But this journey has been worthwhile. With every post, even though I questioned myself and doubted my efforts I became better. I realized somethings that hold a lot of value to me may not mean anything to others but that should not stop me from trying. Here on this blog, I have been able to share some drawings and poems online that I would have otherwise considered too silly to share.
Once again , I am bubbling with small new ideas of things I want to do and even if my fears are pulling me back , I am making a few strides forward. I shared sometime ago that I have been working on some drawings , So I thought I will share one of those with you.
Time will tell how far my little drawing project will go. Hopefully I will share the details with you soon.